Life will throw you curveballs. No matter how strong your magic is, no matter how much you practice your faith, no matter how many sabbats and esbats you keep, it will happen. And when it does, it can be tempting to cry to the skies and feel as if the gods have abandoned you. But the pagan paths, with all their variation, acknowledge that nature does what She has to. Nature creates. Nature destroys. And Nature holds the balance between the two.

The difference between pagans/witches/Wiccans/et cetera and everyone else is that we also have magical tools in our toolbox. These tools mean that we do not have to sit by and let these seeming whims of fate destroy us. These tools allow us to move beyond the incidents, learn from them, and find our strength despite them.

How to Find That Strength
My newest book, 111 Magic, deals with overcoming past traumas and stepping past fear. It is a gradual guide that helps you move from a place of running from your discomfort to honoring it for the lessons it teaches. Some situations in life are easier to move beyond than others. Luckily, magical, emotional, mental, and spiritual tools are available to help you do just that.

Finding your strength doesn't mean that you have to be stoic and unfeeling, burying your feelings, desires, and needs. Your strength will allow you to grieve and to ache and to scream and cry and laugh and one day, though it may not seem like it, to hold your head high again. Finding your strength just means that you keep going forward and that you don't give up.

Putting It Into Practice
Which tools and methods you use will be completely up to you. The ones I have provided here are a few of many. In truth, you should use as many as you need to. Do not think yourself limited to just what I have listed here.

1. Let yourself be angry. Or sad. Or malcontent.
We need to let go of the idea that uncomfortable emotions should be avoided. You can be pissed that you ended up in the hospital. You can be bitter at losing a job or a loved one. These are natural reactions. There is a meditation in 111 Magic called, "Feel Your Emotions." It helps you put a name to what you're feeling. You name it. You disempower it. You move on. You will never overcome anger if you try to smile it away and stuff it down.

On this note, you will need a healthy outlet. It is okay to feel anger. It is not okay to endanger others or their property because of it. It is perfectly fine to experience moments of jealousy. It is not fine to follow someone around and stalk them. Feeling vs. action. This goes for any emotion. Feel it, please do. You'll be better for it. But don't let it make you into the worst version of yourself.

2. Look for the lesson.
Life is full of lessons, some big, some small. If you have lost your third job in as many months, it is not some conspiracy to keep you unemployed. What is your part? Are you always late? Constantly disagreeable? If you are none of these things, then the positions you are taking may not be a good fit for you in the long run. Consider if there is a dream you have been avoiding taking on out of fear.

3. Know that there isn't always a reason.
It is important to know that stuff just happens sometimes. There is not always a reason why bad things happen. There is no punishment from the gods. Bad stuff is just a fact of life. At the time of writing this post, I am going through my own, "no rhyme nor reason" struggle. And while I wish that I had some words to make my pain, and yours, vanish, I don't. All that can be done is take it one day at a time. I'm sure that eventually there is a point of acceptance that will be reached, but I'm not there. You don't have to be there either. What I choose to do, and I hope you will as well, is to meditate and pray and do a lot of self-care.

4. Meditate
On the topic of meditation, this is one of the best tools you can utilize. In several of my works, I discuss the different types of meditation available. I offer you one here that I have found particularly helpful.

Close your eyes.

Take a few deep and intentional breaths.

Think about your pain. If it is physical, hone in on that spot. If it is emotional, try to find the place where it makes itself known in your body.

You may notice that the spot starts to hurt more when you focus on it. That's okay. Let it. If there is a color, pay attention to the color. Or maybe it makes a noise or has a vibration. Whatever it may be, focus on it. Don't shy away or try to avoid it.

Now, as you breath, start to move this light or sound or vibration towards your mouth. It may take several tries to get it there. Once there, let out a big forceful breath and send that pain out of your body. It may help to see it there, suspended or to let it fall to the earth.

On your next breath in, bring fresh air into your body. With each breath, see the air move towards the spot where your pain was. Move it until the air takes over that space and fills it up.

Let it soothe you.

Then return back to the physical space, to your physical body, before opening your eyes.

5. Call on gods and goddesses that know grief.
Few people can understand what you are going through as well as someone who has gone through it themselves. Mythology is full of tragedy. How the deities respond to the tragedy is largely dependent on their personality and the lessons each culture wants to impart. The theme of loss is so common in mythology that it clearly highlights the humanity of the experience.

This list of grief-stricken gods and goddesses is not all-encompassing, but it should provide a good starting point for you to find one you can relate to.

• Tyr: This Norse god sacrificed his hand to Fenrir, a giant wolf. He is good to work with if you are an amputee or have lost something because of self-sacrifice.
• Demeter: The Greek Demeter had her daughter kidnapped and taken to the underworld. She still mourns her for half the year. She is good to work with if you have lost someone close to you.
• The Sabine Women: The Sabine Women are not deities, but they do exist in archetypal memory. The legend says that when Rome was founded, there was a shortage of women. The Sabine women lived in neighbouring areas. They were kidnapped and raped by the Roman founders and many bore children from it. Other goddesses, gods, and archetypes that can be called on if you have survived a rape or sexual assault are: Cyrene, Medusa, and Daphnis from Greek mythology; Dinah and Lot (Biblical); and many others.
• The Morrigan: As a Celtic war goddess, she is all too familiar with loss. Since she chooses those slain in battle, she can help create understanding if you are grieving a loss as a result of conflict or battle.

Final Notes
It can be hard to stay spiritual when undergoing a crisis or traumatic event. There will be some days that are harder than others. That's okay. I've noticed that people, usually well-intentioned but ill-at-ease, will try to say something to fix your situation or improve it. But there is only one thing that can heal you properly and thoroughly, and that is time. So take the time. Breathe and meditate regularly. But don't expect a quick fix. It is much better to heal completely and have it take a while than to try to force it to happen and leave yourself with unhealed bits.

May you heal well.